I Want to Kill Myself…

The pain experienced by transkids:

I’m lonely and I have no friends because they hate me. Sometimes I want to kill myself because of how cold my heart is. I sometimes dislike school because my friends act like I’m not even with them. Life Sucks!!!!!!!!! I wish everyone would treat me with peace and respect. Peace, oh how I love the way the word flows. I’m closing my eyes  
and peace is drifting in the vast sky. Children laughing and playing with me and adults working together. I wish that it’s impossible to be horrid.That would be perfect but I try not to get my hopes up because no one is ever going to treat me properly. I try to be nice but no one cares. Life isn’t fair!
SO BE KIND TO ME

- written by a nine year old child living as a girl, but born as a boy      DONATE NOW

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Comments

  1. Dave says:

    To this child I would say “Hang in there my friend, one day it will be better.”

    1. Alia says:

      Hey there girl

      I know exactly how you feel!!

      One day you will find good friends who care about you just remember always be truthful to your heart and your mind and everything will always work out for the best..
      I had alot of friends who knew me inside and out and we had an amazing hilarious time. I didn’t meet my best friend of now 30 years until i was 15yo, so definately hang in there!!!!

      Being transgendered is a hard life, its a constant war with your mind and body. To find peace you need to accept yourself as who you are..easier said than done. Accepting yourself means no matter what people say or how they ostracise you, you will not care because you have accepted yourself and a happy with your decisions. Finding peace with your body is hard, you can either have gender therapy or learn to accept it. My family were not going to let me have gender therapy and so I had to deal with it. Life was horrible.. but then i met my best friend and life was still hard but it got a whole lot better.
      This all takes time mentally and physically to best understand who you are. Just remember you are a beautiful person and treat people with love no matter how horrible they may be to you..
      You WILL find friends who accept you for who you are so lighten up, be honest and your friend is probably right around the corner..
      My prayers will be with you darling

      Peace and Love

      Best

      Alia x

    2. I kown how U feel, every body says be Ur selk, but its kind of hard. X>

      1. Jeanette says:

        Hi,

        If you ever feel the need to talk to someone who understands, check out the Trevor Project website, and call their hotline number. Keep your head up high and stay strong! :)

        http://www.thetrevorproject.org/lifelinechat

  2. Jessica says:

    You are beautiful no matter what.

    1. Jae says:

      Absolutely! If you want to be a girl be a girl! if you want to be a boy be a boy! And don’t ever let anyone hurt you because of it!

      1. I said the same thing, if only i can do that

  3. Deborah says:

    Your letter makes me so sad that you are going through this. I wish you courage, I wish you strength, I wish you hope and move of all I wish you peace and much love. Hang in there and know you are not by yourself and it will get better. I love you and am sending you a big hug….

  4. Bobbie Jo Justice says:

    I am a transgender female, hang in there, it does get better.

    Don’t let the hate mongers get you down.

  5. Alexandria says:

    This just breaks my heart. I hate how society treats people who are different. I know children are always mean to each other, but the only reason anyone would be hateful about something so sensitive and misunderstood is the parents. People really need to open their eyes to reality, and accept people for who they are, so that sweet little girls like this do not have to suffer for being themselves.

  6. Aphenia says:

    I’m a 17 year old mtf transgender, and even though I lived as a boy at your age, I still got a lot of the hate you’re getting(because I was still feminine acting). Hang in there, don’t kill yourself. Just try and prove that you’re better than them.

  7. matthew says:

    I dont know if ima transgender im 14 male i like playing with dolls its so fun and love playing princess and dressup iv onlt datrd guys but i feel more then just gay

  8. Elijah says:

    Hang in there. Trust me, I’ve definitely felt the same way that you do. But there are people who understand and will care about you regardless of your gender identity. Please keep holding on, you’re a beautiful person who has a lot to offer this world.

  9. Kaylin says:

    Hey, I’m a bisexual girl and I’m 13 I have had very little insults practically none and I came out on facebook everyone was super supportive but I still get scared when telling new people. I hope you are very strong enough because you are a great inspiriation.

  10. mitchel says:

    i am a 13 year old female to male transgender but after kinder garden my family stopped accepting my behavior so i was told i had to act like a girl from everyone but my brother. i still continue living mostly as a girl but at school my friends lend me boys cloths and call me mitchel instead of the name my parents gave me which is michelle. even my teachers started to call me by mitchel and call me he instead of she. you just have to find the right friends and they can support you the whole way even if some people dont.

  11. aso says:

    Your letter makes me so sad that you are going through this. I wish you courage, I wish you strength, I wish you hope and move of all I wish you peace and much love. Hang in there and know you are not by yourself and it will get better.

  12. Kaylon says:

    Hello I’m 16 years old and I’m transgendered I have been this way my whole life and I am trying to get some help it at least some one to talk to this is really hard and u can’t be who I am or want to be j wan t to dress a certain way and I caint it’s hurting me in the inside so please Can someone talk to me

    1. Jeanette says:

      Hi Kaylon,

      Please call the number at the Trevor Project, here is the website. They are amazing and can help.

      http://www.thetrevorproject.org/lifelinechat

      Stay strong and believe in yourself. You are not alone. {{{BIG HUGS}}} Jeanette, Jazz’s mom

  13. Kaylon says:

    An to every trans kiD please hange in there u perfect the way you are just hange in there ur really strong just stay faithful

  14. E.J. says:

    Hello Jazz and Parents,
    Its wonderful that Jazz has wonderful parents to support her in adventure in this life. I know deep inside her is a great woman blossoming as she gets older and wiser.

    I really don’t like hearing about children seeking suicide as a way “out”. It bothers me so much I try to help any child in need even if its just me listening. Going to a GLBT friendly church and being apart of something that can do good in the community makes it all worth wild.
    Thanks,
    E.J.

  15. ali burbridge says:

    I know how you feel I tried to end my life to
    when I was 11yr.old how do you tell fam.that you are a girl.
    tell them how you feel if you hide the real you due to fear or just to make everyone
    else happy. like I did you always be unhappy. we are girls this means we are strong
    when we are true to our selfs so girl be true. this is why I love jazz she is stroung I maybe 36 but jazz is my hero I look up to her . love ali

  16. Anup says:

    dunt listen other..jst listen to ur heart..we human have same blood..we are not different…sick ppl finds different coz they have sick mind…

  17. Janet Sullivan says:

    I know how it can feel – I attempted suicide when I was 19, and thought about it years before hand. Please don’t do it. I’m now 38, happy, with great friends and a good job – life does get better! Even if it seems you are all alone, and that nobody will ever like/love you or understand, there ARE people out there that are good. You may not have met them yet, but they do exist, and life DOES get better.